4 Weeks

Today marks 4 weeks since the surgery.  The recovery is going pretty well.  Technically today I'm able to wear an underwire bra.  I'm not sure about that...we'll see.  I might hit the mall today to see what's available.

My kids are back at school, so I have plenty of spare time.  I tried to go for a 2 - 3 mile walk the other day, but being in the heat of NC, it didn't really feel that great.  I'll try again tomorrow maybe.  It's not pleasant getting sweaty right now, let's put it that way.

I'm doing most activities like usual now.  I can drive with very little discomfort - unlike a week ago where I couldn't relax my arms. I have to be careful with things like vacumming, and I haven't attempted to steam clean my floors yet...but that's what husbands are for, right.  The only thing that I had a mini panic attack about was trying to open the lid of a spaghetti sauce jar.  I almost had to ask a neighbor to open it for me, but after beating the heck out of the lid with the back of a knife I managed to open it.

My sensitivity issue is still there, but not as bad as what it was last week.  I just look permanently "happy". But it's not unbearable like it was.  This gives me hope that oneday they will return to normal.

My surgical glue is also peeling off like crazy.  I had to use Neosporin in a few patches because it made the wound ooze a little.  Not bleeding as such, but maybe it pulled more than just the glue off.  It's a little gross - like I'm Frankenstein or something, but it's not painful.

So, I'm pretty happy with how things are going.  I'm completely off painkillers which is the first time in a very, very long time.  I'm still unsure if it's because I'm taking things easy, or if the reduction really did help my back out a bit.  I have had a few niggles in my back, but nothing close to how bad it was prior to the surgery.  My shoulder is bugging me again since I've been sleeping on my side a bit.  So I think maybe new pillows would help me more than anything.

I really hope that in the next few weeks I'll be pain free, and that some of the numbness I have (the top half of my tata's are overly sensitive, and the bottom half are numb).  I'm eager to start running again, but I think it will take longer than week 6 like I thought. We'll see.

Sensitive Much?

Today is day 3 of being on my own, and 3 weeks post surgery.  So far, so good.  I've kept busy doing laundry, floors, breakfast, lunch, dinner, playing outside, running errands....I've managed it, but I never said it was sensible.  By the time dinner rolled around I was so exhausted that I just wanted to crawl into a hole and cry. I was tired, and sore and just miserable. So basically I need to slow down just a little.  While I'm getting buns of steel from squatting to get anything low down, it's not necessary to do everything I was doing before surgery. I need to remind myself that's it's OK to sit on my ass and ignore the daily chores and do just what I HAVE to do.

My biggest issue right now is my nipple sensitivity.  I was told I may have a lot of numbness.  Nope.  It's terrible.  It's like I've got a Christian Grey in my bra who won't leave my nipples alone. It's like they are raw, although they're not.  Like they've been rubbed with sandpaper. It's pretty painful actually.  From what I've researched it's normal, although being numb is more common. I've heard some remedies from Cocoa Butter to Lanolin which may help, or putting cotton balls on them so they don't rub. (Which in my Genie Bra they're not rubbing.) I just hope it goes away because it's driving me up the wall.  Some people have this sensation for years, and some for just a few weeks. I'm praying for the few weeks option.  My poor husband will never be able to touch my boobs again if they stay like this.

On a more positive note, I rolled over onto my side and slept this morning.  Rolled over!!  Not lifting myself up and gently laying down.  I did have to hug my pillow very close to my chest but I'll take it.  I'm considering getting a body pillow, or sleeping with a Teddy Bear - the top boob and gravity feels a bit weird right now so it needs that additional support. But I was comfortable and slept a little bit until my daughter woke me up.

So I'm doing pretty good.  I just need to remember to take things easy. 

Two weeks and 5 days post surgery

Today is a big day in my recovery.  My husband went back to work today, and he has college right after work too, so I won't see him until about 10pm tonight. So it's just me and the kids all day.

I also need to drive in town, and if anyone has ever driven in Fayetteville, NC you would understand why I'm nervous.  I'm sure I'll be fine so long as I don't need to make any emergency stops.

Aside from driving, the only other thing I was worried about was being able to reach the cereal boxes.  My husband must love me because he took them down before he left for work.

I came home from Florida on Sunday and the drive was much more comfortable than the drive down.  I still had my pillow on my chest incase of bumps.  And yesterday was my big day out.  I went with my husband to the Pembroke Campus to pick up his text book. (On a side note, when the hell did I get so old.  I felt like a Grandma walking around the campus).  Then we braved the Commissary on Ft Bragg.  I made it through without wanting to punch anyone which is an accomplishment on any given day.  I was tired by the time I got home, but I spent an additional 3 - 4 hours outside with the kids and chatting to neighbors.  That made me feel good because I just couldn't have done that a week ago.  And my neighbors commented that I must be feeling a lot better because I was dressed cute.  Yay me.  

Slowly but surely, right?

Oh, and I've also been able to have a bath!!  I love baths so I hate during any kind of recovery when I'm not allowed one.

I'm getting closer to being able to lay on my side - I just don't like how the top boob feels.  It's like it's pulling down a little.  Maybe a body pillow would help.  I've also gone down to one Motrin horse pill a day.  I take it right before bed to help me sleep.  

I'm not in a whole lot of pain - it's just uncomfortable still but not as bad as it was.  I'm getting better just a little at a time, and I'm OK with that.  And only having back/neck/shoulder pain once in the last two weeks, I'll take it!

The Funk

For the most part during the recovery process, I've been able to remain pretty upbeat.  Do I get bored sitting in my recliner doing a cross stitch as Grammy watches hours of Gunsmoke and whatnot?  Of course I do.  

But every few days I just fell into a funk.  I was (and still am) sick of laying on my back to sleep.  My butt is flat as a pancake because I can't get off it unless I'm standing up.  And I really felt like I wasn't getting better.

One morning I tried to lay on my side.  With the help of a pillow held hard to my chest I could lay on my side without too much pain.  It felt good, but then I started weeping out of my wounds where the drains were.

Another morning I woke up and I guess I had done something and the point under my left breast where the horizontal and vertical incisions meet was weeping rather badly. I did call the nurse for my surgeon to check, and I had googled it too.  Apparently it's pretty normal.  She explained that my sutures may be loosening up causing the leaking.  I put a little neosporin on it, and some gauze and within two days it had healed up again.

When the bleeding started I had switched from the compression bra to a Genie Bra (Awesome because they are relatively cheap and you step into them as opposed to having to hook them up or put it over your head).  I had also driven on the Interstate to the Mall and back.  Maybe it was too early to drive.  I don't know, but I did relax a bit more for a few days.

It was just irritating because I felt like I was capable of doing more than I was, but whenever I tried to do more, it bit me in the butt.  It's so hard for me to take each day as it comes.  Every few days I needed to look back and see that I could reach that mug on the top shelf now, or I could shower easier, or that I managed to straighten my hair.

T-Rex Arms

Now, the thing about breast reductions is that your arm movement is restricted.  You can't really fully extend your arms.  You can look up at the cereal box, mugs etc, and lift your arms up....go right up on your tippy-toes....and be no where near close enough to grab that desired item.

Oh, you want an drink of that water sitting on the table right next to you.....but you can't quite reach.  Oh you dropped that on the floor??  Too bad - use your foot to pick it up.

Basically I was like a T-Rex.

OK, so I could lightly clap my hands, but the "oh" came out of my mouth plenty of times.

For instance, my family love to play Phase 10.  Sitting around the table I couldn't shuffle (Not that I can shuffle to begin with so I wasn't particularly upset about this), and I could barely lean forward to get a new card and pass it on. And I was passing it on to my Grammie who has no rotator cuff in her right arm, so she was a T-Rex right along with me.

Slowly but surely my arms are getting more mobile, but it's a slow process for sure.  You just need to be able to laugh it off, and have people around you to help you.

Road Trip

Two days post-drain removal I was feeling a lot better.  It was still very tender around the drain site.  But I had removed the dressings and the holes had closed up and I was generally functioning a little better.

My husband really wanted to spend some time in Florida to visit family, so we packed up (Or should I say he packed up and I watched) and headed down.  

At this stage (1 week and 2 days after surgery) I could finally ditch the softball shirts and wear more regular clothing.  It had to be stretchy so that I could get arms through, and dark to cover the compression bra.  What I found was really great were dresses made out of soft, stretchy fabrics that I could step into.

But anyway, we drove 8 hours down to Florida. I had a pillow constantly on my chest, and some bumps etc did cause me to flinch, and by this stage my ass was so sore from constantly sitting on it.  Believe it or not, the hardest thing was trying to open the doors in restrooms.  Those suckers can be heavy!!

The next day we decided to go as a family to go to breakfast. My appetite still wasn't back, so those delicious looking Red Velvet Pancakes went uneaten.  It was nice to be around others, but it was my first time sitting on a chair that didn't recline.  Not my most comfortable moment.  And the waitress didn't understand that I couldn't reach across the table to grab my plates so I got a few odd looks.

We then went to IKEA, which was maybe a little ambitious of me.  I had a cart to hold on to, and enjoyed myself.  But I was just plain worn out and just wanted to go home.  I tried to take a nap, but that didn't happen.  And because my in-laws don't have a couch, I had to sit the remainder of the day in an uncomfortable rocker.  I just felt pretty miserable.

The rest of my week I basically sat on my ass and did a cross stitch.  I felt like a total Grandma. I wasn't in pain, but I was just bored and uncomfortable, and just wanted to be able to do more.

They're gone!!

As much as I hated the drains, and I knew I would feel much better with them gone, nothing terrified me as much as getting them removed.  You see, it hadn't occurred to me that they used surgical glue on me. (At the pre-op appointment you may want to ask if they are going to use sutures, glue etc).  I don't think I had even heard of surgical glue.  So I thought the drain ran all the way to the middle of my chest.

I really thought it was going to hurt like hell getting it out. I had an early appointment and I was so anxious that I felt like I was going to pass out on the way to the hospital.  Then I had to wait in the waiting room for almost an hour.  Which was just plain uncomfortable. And the looks I got from others there were pretty awesome too.  I was shaking, and almost begging them to sedate me.  

Yeah. It didn't hurt.  You could feel a pull, but it didn't hurt, and there was an almost instant relief when they were removed.  

This was just over a week ago, and I feel much better.  But it's still tender. 

The next worse part was that I had just one compression bra.  And I had to wear it non-stop for 2 weeks.  That's just gross. It was itchy and scratchy, and just plain yuck.  I've never worn one item for that long and I can tell you that I never want to have to again.

So yay to no drains! Yay to no gross compression bra! And yay to Genie Bras!

How to buy a new car.

I blame it on the drugs I was on, or the fact I was bored out of my mind from playing mindless hours of Phase 10 on my phone. But my "give-a-damn" was most definitely busted, and my husband could basically do whatever he wanted and I didn't care.  Just as long as I didn't have to think about it.

So he brought a Lexus.

Well done honey, well played.

His car was pretty beat up, and since he's working full time and driving half way around the state going to school too, he's using a crap tonne of gas.  He wanted something nice, and while putzing around online for shits and giggles, he stumbled across this car.  It's a 2011 Hybrid so it's amazing on gas, and it was used and only had 9000 miles.  The price tag was pretty amazing too.  

Normally I would have had much more to say about the whole deal, but I just didn't care.

So there you have it fellas.  If you want a nice luxury car, wait until your wife has a pretty significant surgery, and she doesn't have the energy to care.  

It does make a kind of funny joke though.  It's like we're going through a mid life crisis.  He gets a new car and I get new boobs.  And we both downsized.

The first days home

I was so happy to be home.  And after a night with Loud and Snory I was very grateful for some quiet.  

Here's the thing though, I hate sleeping on my back.  And you can't sleep on your side or belly. I'm pretty sure that's why they give you painkillers - just to help you sleep.  The pain has never been an issue with the surgery.  It's more the discomfort.  And sleeping on my back just adds to it.  But fortunately the Olympics were on so I had something slightly interesting to watch for the first week of my recovery.

And for the first week after the surgery I had issues regulating my body temperature.  I never had a fever (That would be bad), but I was either hot or cold and nowhere in between.  Which made me clammy, which made me gross and stinky.

Now, my son desperately wanted to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid, so my husband took the kids while I napped.  Now, I was told that I was allowed to shower and remove my dressings 48 hours after surgery.  Stubborn, genius me decided that while they were out would be an awesome time to have that first shower.   I couldn't lift up my arms so I decided to kneel in the bath with my drains resting on the side of the bath, and then just let the water run without the plug in and use a cup to wash myself.  

So I got the dressings off and saw Frankenboobies for the first time.  I wasn't sure what to expect, or how to react.  During the reduction they cut off my nipple and moved it up 2 or so inches.  There's a incision going down from the nipple to the base of my breasts, and then a 'semicircle' incision along the base of each breast. It was the drains that creeped me out the most.

Gingerly I managed to bathe myself.  For the record, it's not a good idea - get someone to help you.  I felt much better and a lot less stinky of course.  Putting the compression bra on was OK, but the drains were so much more uncomfortable.  One of the tubes rubbed on my skin just below the bra to the point where it made a blister.

It was HORRIBLE.  After that I had to constantly have ice packs under my arms.  I was just miserable.  I hadn't been able to wash my hair, so the next day I gave up and had my husband help bathe me.  We did it in the bath tub again, and he washed my hair, and was so gentle washing me and helping me as much as he could.  He even got some gauze and placed it over the drains to make me as comfortable as possible.  (You may want to purchase gauze and frozen peas to help you through this stage). The new gauze did help a lot.

When I say that the drain were evil, I mean it.  They're held there by stitches and any time you move, they pull and it hurts,  Horrible.  So I just sat on the recliner or lay down with ice packs hoping to keep the area numb.

They hurt so bad that I actually chatted with several of my friends who are nurses because I was becoming convinced that they were infected.  They weren't there were no signs of infection such as redness, red streaks, hot to touch, discharge or pussiness etc. Someone explained to me that my body saw it as a foreign object and was hurting to try to get rid of it.

And emptying those suckers.  Gross.  Just gross.

Anyway, other than the drains, I was just tired.  I felt a little nauseous on and off for the first week which could still be from the anesthesia, and from the meds. And I'd be hungry and not be able to decide what I wanted to eat.  My poor husband would ask me if I wanted about a million things and I didn't want any of them, so I would settle on a piece of buttered bread, a cheese stick...or ice cream.  And I had to eat with my medications.  Sometimes I was just ravenous and would eat everything in sight.  Other times I wasn't hungry at all, but I was shaking and needed to eat....that's where I could stomach a poached egg on toast.  It was as if I was pregnant again.

The pain was never too bad, but I was just plain uncomfortable.  And pretty bored too....and my butt was squished like a pancake because I just couldn't get off it.

The surgery.....

Surprisingly I was pretty calm the day off.  I had to get up early and shower, and get the kids ready.  My husband and kids came up with me and hung out.  The left while I was prepared - the nurses and doctors had a really hard time finding a vein on my hand.  My veins just wouldn't stick up, but they eventually got one.  The staff were so nice to my kids and gave my daughter a Barbie and my son a NASCAR diecast - they know the way to my kids hearts for sure.

I vaguely remember being rolled into the operating room and having my arms strapped down out to the side.  I vaguely remember them giving me something to chill me out (I was already pretty calm) and that's it.  I remember the oxygen mask, but I have no recollection of the traditional countdown. I feel kind of gyped....I like trying to see how far I can can countdown.  

We were told the surgery would take about 2 hours, but it turned out to be closer to 4 hours.  And from what I've been told, I was a sleepy head and didn't want to be woken up.  I mean, I'm one tired Mommy and I get a nap without any kids to worry about...of course I didn't want to wake up.

As soon as I did wake up I remember feeling a burning sensation - not pain, and I remember asking for my iphone straight away so that I could let my friends on Facebook know I was OK. My husband and kids came in and I was really happy to see them.  Apparently I didn't look like too much of a freak because my kids happily chatted away.

Shortly after I was rolled into my room which I would stay in overnight. I managed to get up and transfer to my bed. My nurse was amazing.  He could tell from my last name that I was from Pennsylvania...well, I'm not, but my husband is and we spent the rest of his shift joking about stuff since he grew up just miles away from my husband.

They put these pressure cuffs on my legs that squeeze so you don't get blood clots.  But I could get up (with help the first few times) to pee, which was interesting since the drains were attached to really long tubes that came out of the side of your breasts and hung all the way down to your hips. (Later on the tubes were pinned to the side of my gown so I didn't have to hold them) So trying to hold those and deal with the gown and all the other fun stuff you endure made using the bathroom interesting. And I was obviously in the "I don't give a shit" mode because I didn't care that the male nurse was standing at the bathroom door while I had everything hanging out. Modesty flew out the window at that point.

The nurse stayed by my side for several hours, and gave me two percosets.  I should have known better because not long after I had to make my husband rush the kids out of the room while I flung myself at the pink plastic container in order to ralph.  Mental note: you might not want to take pain killers on an empty stomach.

I ate dinner - I was actually starving, and shortly after my husband and kids left for the night and I settled down. Well, tried to.  I had a roommate and her husband.  And she didn't shut up.  Or turn her TV down.  Or stop calling the nursing station to ask for painkillers and benadryl. Or stop making the worlds weirdest sound - I never want to know what that sound was.  Or stop complaining about the food and demanding chocolate cake and soda. And then there was their snoring.  I'm telling you. I would get more peace and quiet with the kids bugging me.

So, it turns out that the anesthetics and I didn't get along.  At all.  In fact they made me very ill.  All night.  And gave me a massive headache. My poor nurse had to clean out my plastic bucket several times.  They had given me Finegran (sp?) in my IV, but that didn't cut it.  So my nurse had to track people down in order to get me some Zofran until I could get some more Finegran.  I was pretty miserable. She also gave me several doses of Morphine to get rid of my headache.  From what I've heard, it's very common to get nausea and vomiting from the anesthesia after getting work done on your chest and up. And being stuck to an IV didn't make things much better. I hate bugging the nurses so fortunately my bathroom breaks was also when I needed to be sick anyway.

Towards the morning I was feeling a little better, and felt up to eating a little fruit.  I was really hungry by breakfast too, but fake egg substitute, and greasy bacon didn't really do it for me.  I'm not the healthiest eater on the planet, but I don't do fake food often. 

I was discharged later on that morning after lunch.  I was wheeled to the entrance (over the very bumpy floors on the bottom floor of Womack - thanks genuises) and made it into the car, placed my squooshy pillow over my chest and endured the ride home.  

I have to thank the nursing staff at WOMACK.  They really were amazing.  One even braided my hair for me since it was annoying me.  They really went above and beyond to take great care of me, and they deserve so much praise. And with some of them also being soldiers, - they're just saints in my opinion.

Pre-Op Appt

Two days before the surgery, I had my Pre-Op appointment.  I met with on nurse who asked me all about the medication I was on, what I should stop (the Celebrex), my medical history, and took my vitals.  She also gave me my pre-op instructions such as having a shower with antibacterial soap the night before and the morning after.

I also met with an anesthesiologist who cracked up because she asked me to stick my tongue out.....it was never clipped as a baby so I can barely stick it out.  She didn't believe me at first...and quickly realized that I wasn't kidding.

After that I had a pee test and blood drawn.

The following day I just made sure that the house was clean, the clothes were washed and the pantry stocked so that my husband (who took two weeks leave) would have as little to do as possible.

I was fortunate to have a good friend, Jamie give me advice such as pack my husbands oversized button up shirts to wear that are ok to get a little bit....er....dirty...to wear for the first week or so.  Best advice ever because I didn't think about not being able to lift my arms up.  I used my husbands old softball jerseys. She also mentioned to buy bags of peas....which I forgot to do.  But I do suggest getting some - you'll find out why later.

Meet the Surgeon

I met my surgeon to see if I was eligible for surgery or not mid-July. I went to WOMACK on Ft Bragg.  Yes, Tricare does cover Breast Reductions, and yes, they have plastic surgeons in the military. But Tricare only covers you for medical reasons, not for vanity. And you have to have a long medical history to be considered.

I was so nervous. First of all, I was anxious that they would say no.  And I was anxious that they would say yes.  And the general awesomeness you feel standing in a room with your boobs hanging out while a male surgeon, a student and a nurse hang out was the best thing ever.  Yes, I just love having people poking around my boobs, and attacking me with a measuring tape, and then taking pictures....it's amazing.  Not.

For me it was very uncomfortable, but I know that they're all professionals and not looking at me for the fun of it.  But I just didn't like it. I would rather have 1000 pap smears instead.

The surgeon told me that it may not help me with my pain, but he would do it if I wanted him to. I said yes - I was pretty much willing to do anything if it 'might' help with pain.  That's a chance I was willing to take.  

I was scheduled for surgery two weeks later.

The nurse explained to me about the drains that I would have.  I asked what size I would be, and they can't really answer that until they're in the operating room and can see what they really have to deal with.  There are so many questions that I should have asked, but I didn't know what to ask.  Instead of telling you what I should have asked, just keep reading future posts and you'll probably come up with your own questions.

So off I went home with my paperwork of things to expect and things that might go wrong that I needed to read and sign.  I'm the kind of person who goes with the flow, has complete trust in my surgeon, and would rather not freak out about the what if's, or the horror stories that you see online.  I did look at some sites so that I could see the before and after pictures etc, but I left it at that.

Breast Reduction - the beginings

When I was a teenager, I would wish upon stars because I wanted boobs.  I was barely an A cup and the teasing in high school was pretty awesome.  You know - being a surfboard etc. I left for a year in Sweden as an A cup barely needing a bra, and 10 months later upon my return to New Zealand my wish came true....I came home as a DD.  It was a pretty big shock to those who knew me!

HOLY BOOBS BATMAN (in an overstretched T-shirt)

Anyway, I first put my neck out and required Physio Therapy when I was 13.  It happened pretty much yearly, and when I was about 19 (about when I got the boob arrival) I started to have wicked back pain.  All through college I was constantly getting PT because the muscles in my neck and back were so tight.  I was told I had the neck mobility of an 80 year old.  My mid back felt like it was being squeezed in a vice.  Ironically the only time I didn't have back pain was when I was pregnant.

This past year it got to the point where it was almost debilitating.  There was so much I couldn't do because I would be in so much pain.  And being a military wife having gone through 2 1/2 years of my husband deploying, him going to schools, to training, to PCS's....in just a 5 year period, it got very concerning.  How was I supposed to look after my 2 kids and give them a normal life when I was in chronic pain?

This year I tried being proactive.  I did Physical Therapy for 2 months and they tried to strengthen my core.  My core was strengthened, but it didn't help the pain.  I was able to do everything they asked of me, but it wasn't helping so they discharged me.  I was on Celebrex, Flexeril and Vicodin daily which I hated - I'm only 32 and it's just not ok with me to be on that much medication.  I decided to just battle on and I started running which was awesome.  I ran two 5k's and felt great, but then my neck started killing me, and I injured my right rotator cuff.  How you do that when you run I have no idea, but it was the 2nd time I injured my rotator cuff in 2 years.  

Frustrated as heck, I talked my doctor into getting me a Tens Unit, which helped with the pain, but after 2 MRI's and only getting the results that I have disc degeneration and a bone spur in my neck, but no clue as to why my back hurts, I was at my wits end.  I had asked a few years ago whether I could get a breast reduction and she said no.  That I just needed to lose 10 pounds and I would significantly reduce my breast size.  Um, no, my boobs stay the same, and its hard to exercise when you double bra and still bounce up and down.  This time she suggested it knowing that I had been proactive and really had exhausted most other options.

YAY!!!

I'm not going to lie.  I've wanted smaller boobs for a while.  Clothes shopping is horrible - trying to find clothes to fit over the suckers is terrible.  If they fit over your knockers, it's baggy below them.  If they fit your belly, it's stretched like an overstuffed sausage or you can't do the zipper up. Or button up shirts were impossible because you have the unsightly button bulge. And I'm not even that big in the grand scheme of things.  And aside from that, I'm just not a flaunt it kind of girl.  I'm a modest, don't show much cleavage kind of girl. I had to wear a tank top under most shirts and even then I felt like I was revealing too much. And living in Hot as Hell, North Carolina, you just don't want to wear too many layers.

So on my way to the surgeon I go....but that's the next part of the story.